Category Archives: purpose and meaning

Advanced practice alert

DarylDavis 

Last week, I shared a Facebook post about a man who has been engaging with those who want to kill and oppress him in an effort to befriend them and let them get to know him as a person.

Daryl Davis has kept their KKK robes. Even typing the words makes me feel nauseous. Since the Charlottesville horror where a neo Nazi killed Heather Heyer and many other anti-racism protesters were hurt, the regular sight of them on the news, emboldened by their president, in 2017, has made me feel like I would physically be sick.

Yet Daryl Davis has found it in himself to do what Barack Obama encouraged us all to do before he left the White House and not only engage with the ‘other’ but befriend them.

Daryl Davis has been doing this for decades. You can read more HERE.

As the piece says, ‘He gets to know them because, in his words, “How can you hate me when you don’t even know me? Look at me and tell me to my face why you should lynch me.”’

While it hurts my soul to give any headspace to people filled with such hate, I think it’s phenomenal that Daryl Davis has found the strength to meet hate with love.

While I’ve always been what many of my nearest and dearest call ‘hard work’ (challenging casual racism, sexism etc), it feels more important now than ever to engage with the people we know personally who have been taught to hate and, with as much love and compassion as we can muster, attempting to hear the ‘other’ and be open to whatever is trying to emerge.

As Nelson Mandela wrote in Long Walk to Freedom, ‘No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin or his background or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.’

Resistance is hugely important. People acting out or threatening must be stopped. But pretending they don’t exist isn’t working.

So when we hear those milder versions by people we know or work with, we can curiously and compassionately encourage them to think about what they’re saying and explore. Not condone (at ALL) but pay attention.

This still feels beyond me, even as I type. And yet we all share the one planet.

What helps you listen to people you feel very opposed to?

Do you find that repeating your opinions louder and louder works or does opening up and hearing what someone else is trying to say create more room for progress?

Daryl Davis is an extreme example (I simply cannot imagine the courage and openness it must take. Even the keeping of the robes, I’d want to burn them and all they stand for) but we all have much smaller ways accessible to us to listen and hopefully, by doing so, help release some of that hate.

How do you feel at the prospect?

What has helped you if you’ve done something similar in the past?

Feel free to comment below.

love,

Eve

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In Prima, talking about how friends can help us stay motivated (July 2017)

Thanks, Charlotte Haigh, for including 365 Ways to Feel Better (White Owl, 2017) and some of my tips in this Prima feature
Thanks, Charlotte Haigh, for including 365 Ways to Feel Better (White Owl, 2017) and some of my tips in this Prima feature

You can read the whole piece HERE.

Have you ever worked with a friend to keep each other accountable and motivated?

What was most helpful?

How did you reward yourselves?

Feel free to comment below.

love,

Eve

 

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Special introductory offer (save £360) on my 9 Week Chakra Coaching Programme

ChakraCoachingProgramme

I’ve been working with the chakras since I started my crystal therapy training in 2001.

My first experience of a chakra meditation was so powerful, I thought I was having a heart attack (it was simply my heart centre beginning to heal – and don’t worry. This work can be very gentle as well as transformative).

Since then, I’ve added different ways of working with them, training with Anodea Judith in Chakra Yoga and creating my own yoga sequences and other blends with coaching, NLP, EFT, unique meditations and crystals.

In included a brief introduction to each of the seven main chakras in my book, 365 Ways to Feel Better: Self-care Ideas for Embodied Wellbeing (White Owl, 2017).

Now, this new integrative coaching programme, suitable for complete newcomers and people who want to integrate other ways of working with their chakras, will help you better support yourself in all areas of your life, from finances to creativity, personal power to connection and love, communication and self talk to enhancing your intuition and much more.

Click HERE for more information, a full overview and a special offer that’s available until Monday 3rd July, 2017.

love,

Eve

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My and others’ tips for flourishing in Top Sante (April 2017)

FlourishTopSanteApril17

Thanks Patricia Carswell for including  some of my tips for staying motivated and on track as you make progress towards your goals. You can read the full piece here: TopSanteApril2017flourish

What helps you stay on track?

What’s your favourite example (so far) of flourishing in your own life?

Feel free to share below.

love,

Eve

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Have you given up on your new year’s resolutions?

Have you given up on your new years resolutions

 

Tomorrow (there truly is a day for everything) is Ditch New Year’s Resolutions Day.

How does reading that make you feel? Are there some resolutions you’ve not stuck to but that you’re not ready to ditch? Maybe others are old standby resolutions you, deep down, have no intention of ever sticking to but feel you ‘should’ make each year?

Notice how your energy rises or falls as you ponder each resolution and decide which ones to maybe tweak (or gleefully ditch!). Honour where you are sticking to them, too.

If you’re feeling especially brave, you might want to involve others. Often, they can see, with blinding clarity, what we keep missing about ourselves.

What do they see us doing to sabotage our attempts to change that we’ve not even noticed?

Opening ourselves up to feedback can feel vulnerable (do choose who to open up to carefully) yet others’ insights could potentially save us remaking – and failing at – the same new year’s resolutions for years to come.

How do you feel about asking loved ones to weigh in on your resolutions?

What’s the most helpful feedback you’ve received from someone else?

What might support you handle tougher feedback? How might you ask for it to be delivered in a gentle and respectful way?

Feel free to comment below.

love,

Eve

 

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Are you letting strangers tell you you *should* be feeling blue?

 BlueMonday
Apparently, Monday’s ‘blue Monday’. Maybe, if you’re already feeling blue, knowing you’re not alone helps? Perhaps you’re bewildered as you’re having a brilliant 2017?
Today, Monday and everyday, let yourself feel however you actually feel. Amazing or really low, it’ll pass.
If you’re feeling a bit fragile, be extra kind to yourself. This means different things for all of us – ask yourself what might help you most right now.
If you want to lift your mood, notice how you want to move. If you enjoy yoga, gentle backbends can help us feel happier. You might want to play with these: Click here for Restorative Fish,  here for Bow and here for Camel.
Ultimately, every day of the year (of your life) you know yourself best. Tune into what you need instead of being swayed by others’ perceptions – especially when they’re worse than how you might actually be feeling.
Do you buy into Blue Monday?
When do you notice low mood?
What helps YOU?
How might you do more of those things?
Feel free to post below.
love,
Eve
(PS – I’ve tried editing this several times but can’t correct the formatting)
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What’s your vision for a better 2017?

VisionBoardblog

 

Happy New Year!

I’ve written so much about vision boards over the years, I’ve decided to keep this Really Simple (but, as with everything, YOU know yourself best so adapt accordingly):

  1. Spend some time gathering images and words that you feel drawn to. No need to judge or censor at this point, simply gather them together
  2. Ponder some of your goals and hopes for the year ahead. You may want to think about different areas of your life such as work, relationships, health, fitness, home, money, the world at large, your communities, travel, long held (or new) dreams, what your spirit needs – whatever crops up for you
  3. Stick the images and words down in a way that pleases you. I use a big canvas and glue. You might prefer cardboard and tape.
  4. Play with your design. The most important part of this whole endeavor is that it inspires YOU
  5. As you can see from my censored version of my latest above, apart from apparently wanting to become an elephant, I’ve written down each as if it were already the case. I like the affirmation starter ‘I am so happy and grateful that…’ so pop that on a bigger note near the top
  6. I scatter the other goals around the board, sometimes near images or words I’ve cut out that feel relevant
  7. On another larger note near the bottom, ‘Thanks for all this or something better’
  8. Play with it until you’re happy with it. Know nothing’s set in stone and it will evolve as you do
  9. Steve Harvey says he’s had words from his embroidered on clothes he sees each day. The more we can remind ourselves of our aims, the more likely we are to take practical steps towards them. I have a picture of mine on my laptop as well as the original hanging on the wall in World HQ (my teeny home office)

Have you created a vision board before?

What did you learn from it?

Have you done one for this year?

Feel free to share pics of yours in the comments below.

Wishing you a wondrous 2017 filled with all good things!

love,

Eve

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Feeling our feelings

Clare Goodwin's Egg Diagram
Clare Goodwin’s Egg Diagram

A big benefit of counselling is increasing our emotional landscape. In psychosynthesis, Assagioli’s ‘egg diagram’ is a handy visual for showing our capacity for sorrow and joy as well as different levels of consciousness and our connection with Self.

I often well up (or sob) at something that hits me either because it’s so beautiful or sad.

Happy tear catalysts include a video of people dancing in celebration after succeeding in protecting the earth, drinking water and sacred ground from the Dakota Access Pipeline, a stunning piece of art, a moonscape and many, many other things (especially involving acts of kindness and compassion).

Similarly, I regularly cry at the news or horrors which I won’t repeat.

Often, the kinds of emotions that were ‘allowed’ when we were growing up are used to suppress feelings that were deemed intolerable. For many of us, feelings like sadness, fear and anger were discouraged. For some of us, even ‘positive’ feelings like joy (for example, if a parent was depressed and needed quiet) might have been discouraged.

Often, in an effort to numb ourselves from pain, shame, fear and trauma, we similarly cut of our capacity for joy. By healing what’s repressed – both ‘positive’ and ‘negative’, we can live life more fully.

I regularly recommend Elaine Aron’s work around the Highly Sensitive Person to clients as, so often, sensitivity is seen as a bad thing. Obviously, we don’t want to be so raw that we’re incapacitated (although, looking back, I see that when this was the case for me, it turned out to be a good thing as it made me make some big changes in my life) but sensitivity and empathy are strengths.

This time of year can make us feel more raw in lots of ways – bursting with love for people and also cranky and irritable.

When we accept all of our emotions as fleeting and equally valid, it can be easier to handle no matter the intensity.

When you think of the weeks ahead, does anything spring to mind as a time when you may feel emotionally overwhelmed?

What might you do in such moments to support yourself through it?

How might you better honour (or hone) your sensitivity to a range of feelings and emotions rather than numbing yourself?

Feel free to comment below.

love,

Eve x

 

 

 

 

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Feeling stuck? Can you go outside?

CeciliaAhernGardening

Getting outside is almost always a great idea when we’re feeling stuck. The simple act of moving means we’re instantly starting to change the way we feel.

And nature is inspiring.

In Cecilia Ahern’s The Year I Met You (Harper Collins, 2014), the protagonist, Jasmine, is put on gardening leave for a year. She starts gardening. And healing.

If we have gardens, brilliant. But even indoor plants offer hope.

Visit a local park or woodland, the seaside or whatever you have access to and which most soothes your soul.

A short walk even from a city center will usually take us towards some kind of natural wonder (even the resilience shown by weeds fighting their way through a crack in the pavement).

What are your favourite natural spots to get you out from your stuckness and into the wondrousness of nature and life?

What can you access within half an hour, walking?

What can you get to easily enough by public transport or car?

What might you plan a special holiday around?

Feel free to share below.

love,

Eve

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